i just had sex bonerless
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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