What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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