Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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