At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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