apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
