hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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