I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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