just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
