What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
