Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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