ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We don't watch enough power rangers
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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