we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
