what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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