she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
