We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Boobs speak an international language.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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