a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
