Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
