Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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