She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
