addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
