When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
