We're like a lot better than the average bears
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
