it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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