Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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