So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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