I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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