I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
