Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
