Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
