So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
