Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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