she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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