Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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