that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
