i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
