I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
