marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
