we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
