Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
