We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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