Fuck appropriateness.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
