two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
