I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I love you. Go after that dick
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
