LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
