while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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