So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
As shirtless as possible
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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