This girl is more easily done than said...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
nutella sex= disaster
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
