If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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