My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
