There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Even my vagina gasped.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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