So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
