stop calling my apartment porn island.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
