Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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